Category Archives: post-grad

who balances the checkbook?

Recently, my sister-in-law asked me who balances the checkbook in our house.  The question caught me off guard… not because I don’t know, but because there’s not a designated balancer. J and I both check into our finances at least every other day. [And then we tell each other about it, as if the other is completely unaware of the state of things. Not sure why. :) ]

I’ve always been vigilant about my money. When I started college, I had enough money to pay tuition for a semester, and stupidly, I spent all the money on tuition. [Ideally, I would have kept the money in an emergency fund, and avoided many tight squeezes during undergrad.] Until I graduated, I had to make do with loans (which usually only covered tuition) and whatever pitiful income I had from part-time jobs. At some point during my freshman year, I worked almost 40 hours a week to try and pay for my stay in the dorms. I didn’t have much discretionary income, and I had to monitor all my expenses carefully. I checked my bank balances daily. I remember having $0.19 in my checking account one day, and knowing that I had at least another week before I would get paid again.

Over the years, I gradually scaled back on school (dropping down to 9-12 credits a semester) so that I could work more and pay for more of my tuition and living expenses, rather than stacking more student loans on my growing mound. Ultimately, Jason and I paid for my final year of school out of pocket… on top of paying for our wedding. This was done through careful planning and budgeting, and weekly (if not daily) checks into our finances. We cut back on eating out and boozing it up, and tried to spend less than we were bringing in. Eventually, this allowed us to build up our savings for a move to Texas, and helped with our transition between states, apartments, and jobs.

Nowadays, we still (both) track everything carefully. We know exactly what we’re spending each month, and even when we have unexpected expenses (travel due to family issues, repairs for a dent in a rental car, etc.), we’re never caught off-guard. And though it takes time to keep track of everything, it’s comforting to know that we’re both invested (pun intended, ha!) in our current and future finances.

So. Who balances the checkbook in your household?

hungry

I’ve been hungry. The ravenous, growling kind that makes you snap at even the nicest of husbands. The kind that sends you to the fridge in a frenzy, looking for something quick and filling and ready and FOOD.

I’ve also been sicker than I’ve ever been (sober). I’ve felt nauseous for at least five out of every seven days for the last six, seven weeks.

The combination of the two have been a rough. One minute I’m finally feeling like I’m no longer monstrously hungry, and the next I’m throwing up a berry smoothie and chicken portabella ravioli, all mixed together. And some comes up through my nose, and I cry.

I cry because I know I’ll be hungry again in an hour, and because it’s disgusting, and because it’s all in the sink. Until now, I’ve only thrown up water and string cheese, and once, a banana that tasted surprisingly good coming back up. This is the last straw, and I’m crying.

It doesn’t last, luckily. The crying, or the throwing up. Eventually, someone else, someone new, will be doing (most of) the crying and throwing up.

This is the first time in my life in which I’m equally scared and excited. In most of my other adventures, I was naïve enough to imagine that things would work out. Now, I know of all the things that could go wrong, and all the things that could go right, and none of the ways in which to ensure that we’ll all make it out alive, and relatively unscathed.

But I’m excited. I’m so very exited to see how this turns out.

back to school…?

Every couple of months, I take a look at my student loans, the payments I have to make, and emphatically declare that I’m NEVER going back to school.

A week later, I usually find myself poking around at different graduate schools, and wondering if I could make it as a grad student.

What it usually comes down to is money…

Money is the reason I don’t want to go back to school, and the reason I can’t truly dismiss it. I don’t want to go back because my undergraduate degree cost so much, and because I have to pay a lot of money each month to various lending institutions because I didn’t make better financial and life decisions when I was last in school. If I think of all the classes I paid for and either didn’t show up for, or just coasted through, I become either depressed or angry, neither of which contributes to my general sense of happiness.

On the other hand, my daily work involves me looking at what other people are being paid, and the overall trend indicates that English was a poor choice for a major (duh), and that computer science or electrical engineering are much more lucrative. I don’t think money is everything– it’s not– but there’s no denial that how much you make does contribute to one’s sense of how much you’re worth. Hold your fire– I’m not saying that it’s the only, or even most important, measure of a person. But I personally think that I’d feel better about my life  (and past choices) if I were making more money. Most of us want to feel validated, and that can happen via financial compensation or joy derived from one’s job. Generally, if you’re not getting either, you won’t be happy in your job. This is why people who work in non-profit companies are generally less concerned with their salaries– they are getting something else from their jobs. [Again, I'm speaking from general experience and observation.]

What this brings me to is the monthly dance– should I go back to school and get a different (more lucrative, more specifically useful) degree? Or should I employ some of that creativity I say I yearn for, and find a way to put what I have to good use?

nine years

On our first anniversary, Jason was home from college for the weekend. We spent the night before watching movies and hanging out, but I was certain that I would get to see him on our “actual” anniversary. Needless to say, I was quite unhappy to find that he was back in Madison without as much as a call to let me know that he was leaving. Over the course of the next week, we sent countless emails back and forth, attempting to figure out why we both had completely different expectations of the day. I couldn’t believe he would just leave without stopping by, and he couldn’t understand why I would be upset, since we had seen each other the night before.

Looking back, it makes me smile. In some ways, we’ve done a lot of growing up and growing together. In other ways, we’re still those same people: both stubborn and unable to figure out why the other one is so insistent on being so very wrong. :)

There’s no doubt about it– we’re a great match for one another. Not because we’re perfect for each other (I don’t think there’s truly such a thing), but because we’re equally stubborn and dedicated and willing to hunker down to get to the root of what’s actually making us happy or unhappy. Jason’s background in science and my own years of analytical inspections of various texts insist that we carefully study the things that evoke reactions (good and bad) in either of us, and some day, we may even be able to predict the kinds of things that would make the other happy.

For now, I’m content to have a partner in figuring it all out. Thanks EJV. I couldn’t ask for a better husband.

[Next year, you'll have been driving me crazy for a full decade. :-D ]

about those goals

I have four big goals for this year:

+ Move more

+ Read and write more

+ Spend less

bday card

The card my mom gave me for my birthday… does she know me well or what?!

+ Figure out my life (… piece of cake, right?)

The first should be easy enough… I’ve done the math, and if I cover an average of  2.7 miles a day, I can run 1000 miles over the course of the year. Not bad.

The second: if I read 4-5 books a month, I will read 52 books this year. I’m fairly certain I can cover the spread by reading only books in our apartment, but Jason also has a nifty new Nook that I can hijack for an afternoon. {Side-note: I miss school. I miss it badly… I would go back in a heartbeat if I knew what I wanted to study would make me lots of money.}

Third: duh. Everyone wants more money, and wants to spend less, right? It also couldn’t hurt to get paid more… (we’ll see about this.) My long-term money goal is to pay off my student loans and possibly a mortgage before I turn 30. Because that would be baller.

Lastly, the whole figuring-out-my-life deal.

Bah. This will likely remain a goal for many years (unless something drastically changes in the next few months). I have a better idea of what I want than I did a year ago, but I’m not entirely sure how to get into the fields that I’m interested in. At this point it’s a matter of matching my current skills with a company that would be willing to train me to do something brand new. In theory, this wouldn’t be too difficult to find, but I also want to make sure that I don’t spend the rest of my twenties hopping from job to job, getting trained in several ultra-specific fields.

Regardless, I’m working on my patience.

I’m excited for this year. I don’t have any illusions that this is going to be some magical, über-productive, find-my-calling kind of year… but looking back on 2012 made me realize that a lot of big changes can be made by doing something new, something little, every day.

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