A position with a widely circulated magazine.
I would work as an editor and writer. The position must include an office dedicated solely to my needs, as well as an in-building daycare for my (future) children. There must be enough space within this office to house my extensive book collection, as well as some trendy furniture, preferably from IKEA or Crate & Barrel. There must also be an adjoining office for my assistant, who will be aiding me with research and answering phones when I’m in the middle of meetings or work. It is also necessary for the company to reside in a city with at least 300 days of sunshine a year.
The position must include daily personal interaction with other editors and writers, as well as the opportunity to hire an intern every 3 months, in an effort to shape future editors and writers and bring fresh ideas to the company. The intern(s) will help me with my research, and will have the opportunity to conduct their own research projects. The position must also include plenty of opportunities for further instruction and education. Seminars and courses in psychology, sociology, and gender studies would be crucial to my success as a writer, and it is thus imperative that the company I work for supports [read: pays for] my efforts to further my understanding of why individuals act the way that they do. This position must also include a boss who does not micro-manage.
The position must reward my hard work with a wage that allows me to live comfortably. Buying a jet is not a priority, but owning a nice car is. The position must also allow for at least four weeks of paid vacation every year. Insurance and retirement contributions are a must. The position must require no set work-hours; I reserve the right to determine when I start and finish the workday, and would welcome a chance to telecommute one to two days a week.
Ideally, I would manage a small but cohesive group of writers and assistants, and would have access to funds for team lunches and retreats. Half of my workweek would be dedicated to research, writing and editing, while the other half would be dedicated to team management, administrative tasks, meetings with sources, and speaking engagements. Travel would occur at least monthly, but I would be away from home no more than 10 total days each month.
The company must value its employees. Companies that do not understand the link between happy employees and high productivity need not apply.
In return, I will be loyal and dedicated, and I will work hard. I will bring new ideas, excellent communication skills, and the uncanny ability to help others maximize their productivity without sacrificing the details. I will be a tough boss, but one that ultimately drives her employees to be the very best they can be.